I believe a dream is a wish you make with your heart ; ♥
Second Time Around You



Navigations are Second, Time, Around, You.

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You have to love someone to miss him like that

Sunday, July 19, 2015 Sunday, July 19, 2015


““I wanted to call him,“ she said, ” just to see how he was doing. But you can’t do that. You can’t talk to someone who held your heart in their palm and pretend it never happened.

“I wanted to ask why it was so hard to get over him. I wanted to know if he felt pain like knives in his sides like I did. I wanted to know if he ever felt lonely when he listened to music, or if things reminded him of the memories we made.

“I wanted to say that I couldn’t remember the sound of him saying my name anymore and sometimes that scared me but I knew it was important, and that our last kiss wasn’t anything like in the movies, that it was so brief the wind had swept it away before I’d had a chance to commit it to memory. I wanted to explain how now I’d forgotten everything apart from the way he made me feel, like I could do anything, like love wasn’t just for perfect people, like love could also be for me.

“So my god I wanted to call him, but instead I sat on the floor and drank shots like they were tea. To be honest I don’t know if I still loved him, but then I suppose you have to love someone to miss them like that; like hell like absolute-fucking hell.”

But you love me too much

Wednesday, May 13, 2015 Wednesday, May 13, 2015


“1. You’d take him back. You’d take him back in a heartbeat, if it meant being his again.

2. The reason you didn’t sleep last night isn’t that you had to stay up doing homework till three in the morning. The reason is that you were going through old text conversations looking for a change. A shift, somewhere that you can identify as the point where he stopped loving you like before. Those kinds of things keep you up at night now.

3. You don’t need him anymore, but you want him. You want his smile in the morning and his laugh and his dumb jokes and his funny faces. You want it all because he means the world to you and every part of him is a part that you want to love.

4. You’re twenty-one, but you drink like you’ve lived a lifetime of pain. You drink because you’ve had your heart ripped out- and you have tried to replace his love with other things, but only alcohol can make your heart race the way he used to.

5. Coffee tastes bitter on your tongue but you read online somewhere that it makes you less hungry so now you like bitter. Bitter is the only thing you want. And in the back of your mind you know it isn’t healthy and it’s not right but maybe if you get a little thinner you’ll be worth loving. Maybe if you tried a little harder at looking the right way and talking the right way rather than being loud and hungry, you’ll be enough. He’s made you question everything, and suddenly all you’ll wonder is why you weren’t worth loving.

6. You’d take him back. You’d take him back and you’d do anything to make him want you again, even when you know that he probably never wanted you in the first place.”

—y.

Turning Tables

Friday, May 8, 2015 Friday, May 08, 2015

“I remember when I asked you “What would you do if you lost me, if I left you. What would you do?”

 And you said to me
“Why would you even make me want to think of that? I’m never going to lose you. Never. And if the situation happened, well you know what I’d do? I’d get you back. I’d text you all the time telling you I miss you and that I love you and if I saw you on the street I’d grab you and kiss you. Id send you letters telling you how much you mean to me and tell you how bad I’m doing without you. At night I’d sneak in and wrap my arms around you and beg for you back. Id do everything in this living world possible to show you my love for you. I just wouldn’t give up on you until you were mine again.”

but the worst part of it was that a few years later,

                  You were the one that left me"

Gaping Hole 6eva

Saturday, May 2, 2015 Saturday, May 02, 2015

“Was it hard letting go of him? It was, and it wasn’t because I missed him, because who he is right now isn’t who I miss, I don’t know who he is anymore. But it was hard letting go because I had this person who had became a huge chunk of my life, a person who lit fires in the darkest parts of me, and then they had left me, the fires burned out and I now had a gaping hole in my heart, and that’s why it hurts to let go. It happens in stages really, I had found myself one day laughing at how pathetic I was for ever loving him, but the next day I was on the floor of my shower begging God to bring him back to me. I think if anyone’s every experienced heartbreak you know how hard it is to do things without that person. It’s entirely way to hard to move on, and it’s also hard to accept. It’s also hard to grasp the fact that the person you had grown to love is now a stranger to you. You don’t talk to them anymore, but you hear about them and your stomach clenches and I can promise you it won’t feel too great. I’m sorry to tell you this but you’ll probably always have a spot for them in your heart, the hole they made can be filled by them, and only them. I truthfully don’t think I’ll ever let go of him fully either.”

-y.

When did "I love you" stop being true

Monday, April 27, 2015 Monday, April 27, 2015

“Just tell me: was any of it real? was it real when we were both sitting in the back of the car and you inched your hand over to cover mine in the dark and we laced fingers and didn’t talk and just sat there in the streetlights listening to soft rock, was it real three months later when you kissed me and trembled hard and held my face in your palms and looked into my eyes and said, “i’ve waited to do that for way too long”
when did it stop? was it slowly or just all at once? later when we’d be talking about our secrets, did you wish i’d just shut up? when did kissing me start to mean that you’d have to get drunk? was it during one of the nights i broke down hard or was it just that one day my body didn’t quite do it for you anymore?
did it hurt. did you try to get it back. was there ever a point that you wanted me again but knew that it was gonna be different, was it the difference that scared you? was it me? did you just watch our forever become nothing? did you look down at your hands and realize they ached for another horizon, another moon, another person’s road to skim along the guardrails of. did you wait to tell me because you didn’t want the tears or because the tears were going to be too much effort to pretend to care about. did you chase our love when it ran for you? or were you the one to open the door and ask it to leave the room?
just tell me. when did “i love you” stop being true?”
—how long have you been playing along // r.i.d